Conquering Vertigo

An outstanding work of remarkable intimacy

I turned to the right, seeking to communicate "taken, uninterested, just browsing, please don't talk to me,' to the man approaching rapidly from the left. As he drew closer, I became enraptured with the clearance paperback bin ("no really I'm busy").

"Hi there," he said, undeterred by my body language, "what are you looking for?"

I turned only my head and smiled sadly to discourage him, "Just browsing," and began inching my gaze back to the unwanted bin.

"Looking for some light summer reading, or something--" he glanced at my hand "--for your husband or kids?"

I was in an odd intersection in the bookstore, kiosks and tables of random categories surrounded me, all grouped vaguely at the openings of diagonal aisles. Behind me beyond the escalators were periodicals and the attached coffee shop.

He persevered, "I can help you find what you want..."

I succumbed to a conversation, "What I really want are the books I left at home. I'm here on a business trip and forgot to pack them."

He began to suggest books he had read, books he wanted to read. His enthusiasm was palpable and unwanted. Before I disengaged, he recommended a book with jacket blurbs shouting "groundbreaking," "extraordinary," "remarkable intimacy!"

Unsold, I returned to my own quiet and enjoyably aimless wandering. I didn't want to read an extraordinary book. I wanted something less work than groundbreaking. Something entertaining and well-written, yes, but remarkable intimacy? No. Remarkably intimate and extraordinary books take a high level of engagement. Groundbreaking books usually push you to think or care. I just wanted something pleasant to read while falling asleep in my hotel room.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure I even want to WRITE a remarkable book. I'd like to write an entertaining and briskly-selling book, something enjoyable for all of us. But extraordinary feels like a lot of work. Groundbreaking would require vigorous intellectual investment. And remarkable intimacy? Wouldn't that reveal a little too much of me to my readers? I don't think I want to be that well known.

posted by Woman In Love @ 5:33 PM