Conquering Vertigo

Spiritual manipulation #461

When I hear people -- usually pastors -- talking about ways to steer "regular" conversations into "spiritual" conversations, I remember a line of dialogue from a movie called "The Big Kahuna":
"Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore; it's a pitch. And you're not a human being; you're a marketing rep."

I wonder how many pastors, mentors, coaches and other spiritually-associated leaders are aware of the manipulation that occurs when they "lay their hands on a conversation"? I wonder how many don't care and/or shrug it off because they are divinely anointed manipulators?

I wish people would respond honestly and transparently to inherent spiritual components. Rather than manipulating the conversation to be about whatever they want to discuss, spiritual leaders could respond openly out of his or her own bias. This honors the other person and allows them to be a full partner in the conversation.

Some people teach that we globalize out of our experiences, that we impute our thoughts, reactions, desires, habits, actions, decisions into and onto others. For example, Mr. Ex doesn't like helping people move, so he assumes no one wants to help him move.

Sometimes I globalize, sometimes I don't. Most often, I globalize the good things ("Everyone wants to help") and I personalize the bad things (I'm embarrassed but you're not").

But here is a negative globalization: I think most leaders, particularly spiritual leaders, attempt to manipulate conversations as part of a larger manipulation to force people to think like, act like, believe like them. When I was a pastor, I was aware I feared this and I did everything I could NOT to be one of the manipulators. Not saying I never screwed up -- saying I never consciously attempted to manipulate the people around me. There is a huge difference between true honest leadership and manipulation, and most "leaders" manipulate because they find it easier to force the results they want.

But as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore; it's a pitch. And you're not a human being; you're a marketing rep.

posted by Woman In Love @ 12:32 PM