Conquering Vertigo

Foot bone connected to the Knee doctor

My foot doctor is named Knee.
Dr. Alicia Knee, podiatrist and adjunct professor at UCSF, specializes in sports injuries and ballerina's feet.

And yes, I asked if she had thought about specializing in knees, if for no other reason than the delicious irony of being "My knee doctor Doctor Knee."

She laughed with much good humour and said, "Actually I considered it seriously, for that very reason, but two more compelling things sent me further down the leg professionally. Feet and ankles are more interesting than knees, and I love dancing. And as a podiatrist, I get to work with a lot of dancers."

She examined my foot, frowned over the extremely flexible, light-weight running shoes I favor, and sent me for X-Rays. I might write a separate blog devoted to the experience of the X-Ray tech asking me if there were any chance I was pregnant. A lifetime of single-adult-celibacy (waiting til Mr. Right came along) always meant "No." As the word was leaving my lips I stopped, quite startled, looking at the wedding ring.

Anyway, when the results came back, Dr. Knee showed me the fracture - really, a network of small breaks - in my foot.

Earlier, she had warned me that I might have to wear a cast. It all depended, she said, on the location of the fracture along the bone. And the cast, if required, would stretch from just below my knee all the way to my toes. Ugh.

"Your break is far enough up the bone to give us options," she said brightly. "The cast is still the guaranteed, fastest treatment. It's a big cast, will require crutches, and bathing is hell. But the bone heals more quickly.

"Another choice," she continued, "is the Expensive European Clog. Dansko makes a clog with an extremely rigid sole and a great natural footbed. You'd have to wear it constantly -- no running shoes, no heels, no going barefoot on the beach or at home. The clog becomes your removable cast, and you only take it off in bed or the bath."

I chose The Clog.
Then, she began the lifestyle interview.
Do you smoke, drink alcohol, drink caffeine, play sports?
No, yes, yes, yes, I answered.

"Good on you for not smoking, bad on you for the caffeine. Here's my regimen for you -- go shopping and get at least one pair of the Dansko clogs. No caffeine you can possibly avoid, lots of red wine, and only the physical exercise that doesn't put pressure on your feet. And no walking on hills."

I did a double-take. "You know where we live don't you?"
She smiled, "Yes, and I know it's impossible, but don't walk on hills."

"And why red wine versus white?"
"Red wine helps your heart and blood more than white wine does. Caffeine and smoking constrict your blood vessels, and I want as much blood flowing through your feet speeding the healing as possible."

She tilted her head and smiled at me. "It's not a bad prescription, you know -- red wine and shopping for expensive shoes."

So, I left the orthopaedic clinic, picked up Richard, and went shoe shopping with him. We selected a version of the shoe pictured at the top, picked up some decaf coffee beans, and went home to drink red wine.

"Just one more glass, dear; it's for my foot."

posted by Woman In Love @ 11:21 PM